GTCC,
You've made a smart girl who loves this business and loves music more than life, want to give up. You've made me want to quit. When I feel like I am constantly beating my head against a brick wall to graduate from a 2 year program, something is wrong. I have done 2 internships with an amazing label in Nashville. I have gone above and beyond any other student in that aspect. I was asked BACK to that label not once, but TWICE.
I have gone above and beyond for my department. I have put together Open Mic nights, brought in bands, tried to create a unity and a community among my department. I have exhausted myself trying to give back to a program who initially gave me so much.
I try and get my hand's on any kind of experience and exposure I can; shows, benefit concerts, organizing, planning, promoting, fundraising. I want this, I want this more than anyone. And, you have once again slammed me to the ground. You've made a girl who LOVES to learn hate 90% of her school. Are you proud?
Tonight, I was the recipient of one of the NASTIEST, most derogatory emails I have ever received in my life. It came from one of my teachers, a man who has never met me but refuses to cooperate with me post-op and in a nutshell, bullied me, spoke down to me in a derogatory fashion, and called me a liar. Not only will I be withdrawing from his class but, I am reporting him to the school board and meeting with the President of GTCC on the matter.
I give and I give and I give and I make Dean's List every semester, and this is how I'm treated. I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship before and NO ONE will EVER be allowed to speak to me in that manner again, much less one of my teachers. A TEACHER, a person who is there to encourage me and to help me learn and become the very best version of myself so I can tackle the world head on. A TEACHER, just spoke to me like I was trash. That is completely inexcusable in my book, and it will be dealt with.
What's even worse about all of this? I don't feel like any of my other teachers or the head of my department would go to the mat for me on this one. In fact, I'm sure they wouldn't. I'm going to have to do it alone, which I'm perfectly used too. It takes one person to stand up and make a voice heard and guess what, that person is going to be me. I have exhausted myself for a program that won't fight for me, talk about feeling like you've been taken advantage of.
Change is going to happen. UNCG or somewhere else, something is going to give. I do not plan on walking at my graduation for GTCC, nor would I recommend it to anyone else. I'm ready to find a teacher and a school that lights a fire inside of me again. I have the friends and the support system, now I just need to finish my education.
9.11.2010
9.04.2010
Shapes
"The rest of your life is a long time and whether you know it or not it's being shaped right now. You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices or you can fight back. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world, that's just the way it is but for the most part you get what you give. Let me ask you all a question. What's worse: not getting everything you wished for or getting it but finding out it's not enough? The rest of your life is being shaped right now with the dreams you chase, the choices you make and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life starts right now."
8.31.2010
The Power of One
One.
It’s a simple word, one syllable and three letters.
It’s a simple number, something singular.
And, it’s a simple concept.
Or, at least it can be.
It just takes one person to say yes and start changing things. One person to make moves and start making a difference. One person to give someone a chance, to have a little faith in someone’s idea, hell, to have a little faith in someone alone. It just takes one person to start a revolution, a protest, a rebellion, to take a stand and voice their opinion. Just one.
Unfortunately, more often that not, people just don't want too. People are scared to be that one, to go against the grain, to make themselves stand out, to bring a recognition themselves they did not have before.
Whoever that one person is has to be brave. It takes courage to make a difference. It takes courage to not let people’s opinions and judgements shape your life and the way you live it. You have to already know who you are what you stand for. You have to be okay to be handed rejection and be the receiver of harsh words and criticism as well as praise. But, just think of the difference that one person can make.
The music business is tough. I’m not one to sugarcoat things. If you want something sugarcoated, go find a doughnut. I’m honest. It’s hard. It’s even harder if you a woman, much less a 22 year old one. It’s hard when you are trying to book a benefit concert to give back. People are too greedy for their own good. Few are willing to give up their time to give back to something that led them to where they are today. And that, is sad and disappointing.
In one night, one group of people could make a difference. It just takes one venue to say yes to one person and one idea. This business is already hard enough but if people worked together it could be so much better.
Take a risk, consider this a challenger, be that one. If for no more than one hour, one day, one week, etc. give people a chance and the benefit of a doubt. Support someone’s idea even if you stand to gain nothing from it. Give back to what inspired you or led you to where you are today. Just make a difference, someway, somehow. Just start with one thing and work your way up from there.
It’s a simple word, one syllable and three letters.
It’s a simple number, something singular.
And, it’s a simple concept.
Or, at least it can be.
It just takes one person to say yes and start changing things. One person to make moves and start making a difference. One person to give someone a chance, to have a little faith in someone’s idea, hell, to have a little faith in someone alone. It just takes one person to start a revolution, a protest, a rebellion, to take a stand and voice their opinion. Just one.
Unfortunately, more often that not, people just don't want too. People are scared to be that one, to go against the grain, to make themselves stand out, to bring a recognition themselves they did not have before.
Whoever that one person is has to be brave. It takes courage to make a difference. It takes courage to not let people’s opinions and judgements shape your life and the way you live it. You have to already know who you are what you stand for. You have to be okay to be handed rejection and be the receiver of harsh words and criticism as well as praise. But, just think of the difference that one person can make.
The music business is tough. I’m not one to sugarcoat things. If you want something sugarcoated, go find a doughnut. I’m honest. It’s hard. It’s even harder if you a woman, much less a 22 year old one. It’s hard when you are trying to book a benefit concert to give back. People are too greedy for their own good. Few are willing to give up their time to give back to something that led them to where they are today. And that, is sad and disappointing.
In one night, one group of people could make a difference. It just takes one venue to say yes to one person and one idea. This business is already hard enough but if people worked together it could be so much better.
Take a risk, consider this a challenger, be that one. If for no more than one hour, one day, one week, etc. give people a chance and the benefit of a doubt. Support someone’s idea even if you stand to gain nothing from it. Give back to what inspired you or led you to where you are today. Just make a difference, someway, somehow. Just start with one thing and work your way up from there.
8.26.2010
The Music Business
I've been school what, 3 days, 4 today? I guess it says something about me when I can sit in my classes and look around and see 98% of my department failing. Hey, less competition in the long run I guess. Call me a bitch but hey, I'm just stating the facts.
I am SO TIRED of people doubting my knowledge or looking at me like I really don't know what I am talking about when I open my mouth in class. There is nothing you are learning in that classroom that can prepare you for the real music business, and I mean that. Everything I do for bands, I learned from my 2 internships in Nashville at Big Machine. The knowledge I gained there set me far ahead of the pack, and I love it.
I pretty much refuse, or have a really hard time, being friends with anyone in my department who doesn't really want this. I want this. I'm good at what I do and dammit, I know it and my teachers knows it. The self-control is takes for me not to launch across the room and throttle the dude who's like, " Yo, my best friend be T.I'S brother yo and he got me this internship waitin' on me yo." Well, that's super dee duper awesome for you, too bad I know you are lying though your damn teeth.
I'm not sorry for any amount of money, time, effort, anything I put forth in getting me to Nashville, being asked back, and going back. I'm not sorry that people are intimidated by that and, they are. I'm not trying to sound arrogant here but seriously, I know what I'm doing and I can size up someone and their desire and passion for this whole business in about 30 seconds. I can tell you who is going to be eaten alive and who's name you should jot down and remember because they're going places and I believe in them.
I love this business. I love songwriting so much I get giddy about the fact. I love hearing a song come in on a comp, being turned into a work tape, and then seeing it hopefully make the final cut for the album. I love getting bands and musicians I know names out there. I love promoting people I believe in. I love seeing that hunger in someone's eye, the eagerness to hit the road, to just make it by as long as they are getting to play out. In the same breath, I am not unaware of the dark side of the business and don't think it hasn't bit me in the ass once or twice. But, because I love, I keep going. You have to have a spin, you have to have thick skin, but most of all, you have to have heart.
Conan O'Brien said, " I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." HE'S RIGHT. I live my life by this quote everyday and I plan on keeping on.
I am SO TIRED of people doubting my knowledge or looking at me like I really don't know what I am talking about when I open my mouth in class. There is nothing you are learning in that classroom that can prepare you for the real music business, and I mean that. Everything I do for bands, I learned from my 2 internships in Nashville at Big Machine. The knowledge I gained there set me far ahead of the pack, and I love it.
I pretty much refuse, or have a really hard time, being friends with anyone in my department who doesn't really want this. I want this. I'm good at what I do and dammit, I know it and my teachers knows it. The self-control is takes for me not to launch across the room and throttle the dude who's like, " Yo, my best friend be T.I'S brother yo and he got me this internship waitin' on me yo." Well, that's super dee duper awesome for you, too bad I know you are lying though your damn teeth.
I'm not sorry for any amount of money, time, effort, anything I put forth in getting me to Nashville, being asked back, and going back. I'm not sorry that people are intimidated by that and, they are. I'm not trying to sound arrogant here but seriously, I know what I'm doing and I can size up someone and their desire and passion for this whole business in about 30 seconds. I can tell you who is going to be eaten alive and who's name you should jot down and remember because they're going places and I believe in them.
I love this business. I love songwriting so much I get giddy about the fact. I love hearing a song come in on a comp, being turned into a work tape, and then seeing it hopefully make the final cut for the album. I love getting bands and musicians I know names out there. I love promoting people I believe in. I love seeing that hunger in someone's eye, the eagerness to hit the road, to just make it by as long as they are getting to play out. In the same breath, I am not unaware of the dark side of the business and don't think it hasn't bit me in the ass once or twice. But, because I love, I keep going. You have to have a spin, you have to have thick skin, but most of all, you have to have heart.
Conan O'Brien said, " I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." HE'S RIGHT. I live my life by this quote everyday and I plan on keeping on.
8.23.2010
Your Heart's Desire
"There are two tragedies in life: one is to lose your heart's desire, the other is to gain it." -- George Bernard Shaw
How do you view that quote? How can you interpret it?
If you gain everything you heart has ever wanted than you risk the pain and the fear of losing it. And what happens if you do lose it? Maybe you'll discover it wasn't really all you thought it was. Maybe you'll realize that something or someone you thought you couldn't live without was actually poisoning you more than it or they were ever curing you.
I've experienced my fair share of loss and as morbid as it may sound, I'm a far better person because of it. I owe a thank you to ever person who ever walked out of my life, who hurt me, who slammed a door in my face. They made my skin that much tougher and I am that much stronger all do to them. Just when you think you have found someone who can fix everything in your world, everything can change. And when that change happens, don't fight it, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Gaining your heart's desire and losing it, both are scary ideas. Either way, the weight is heavy and you never know which way the scale will tip. You can have something that makes you feel so electric one second and the next, poof!, it's gone. I don't believe in wallowing. I believe it's often a waste of time and will simply exhaust you and rob you of energy you could put towards changing things around. However, I've wallowed when I thought I lost my heart's ultimate desire. Turns out, wasted wallowing, it was no where near worth it and I'm a better person for having lost it.
So, when you gain something appreciate it. When you lose something, let it go and be thankful that you had it for a little while. If it's meant to be in your life it will come back. I know you have heard that a thousand time but trust me, it's true.
How do you view that quote? How can you interpret it?
If you gain everything you heart has ever wanted than you risk the pain and the fear of losing it. And what happens if you do lose it? Maybe you'll discover it wasn't really all you thought it was. Maybe you'll realize that something or someone you thought you couldn't live without was actually poisoning you more than it or they were ever curing you.
I've experienced my fair share of loss and as morbid as it may sound, I'm a far better person because of it. I owe a thank you to ever person who ever walked out of my life, who hurt me, who slammed a door in my face. They made my skin that much tougher and I am that much stronger all do to them. Just when you think you have found someone who can fix everything in your world, everything can change. And when that change happens, don't fight it, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Gaining your heart's desire and losing it, both are scary ideas. Either way, the weight is heavy and you never know which way the scale will tip. You can have something that makes you feel so electric one second and the next, poof!, it's gone. I don't believe in wallowing. I believe it's often a waste of time and will simply exhaust you and rob you of energy you could put towards changing things around. However, I've wallowed when I thought I lost my heart's ultimate desire. Turns out, wasted wallowing, it was no where near worth it and I'm a better person for having lost it.
So, when you gain something appreciate it. When you lose something, let it go and be thankful that you had it for a little while. If it's meant to be in your life it will come back. I know you have heard that a thousand time but trust me, it's true.
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